Feeling pretty depressed for no apparent reason. Well, the reason is simple: it's the writing merry-go-round in which everything you write starts to look off. Only a couple cures: one is finding another set of eyes (not an option for me) and the other is moving on.
After talking to Deborah, I realized I am doing two different things in the writing: one is reordering and addresses some critiques, the other is managing the literature. While it is true that these things are related, they can be approached separately, which means I can move through the chapters pretty quickly a couple of times.
I heard back from a publisher who has read my material. She remains interested, but had some requests for additional material. I should feel happy, but just feel nervous. This business of putting myself out in a way that makes me vulnerable, makes all the work I've done potentially worthless--damn, it's hard. I have increasing evidence that it's likely going to work, that this thing will become a book, but the more that looks likely, the more scared I get. Moderately ridiculous, but probably not unusual...
I got Lily a couple of Hebrew books (well, Rory can see them too, but he'll just chew 'em up). During my breaks, I've translated them. Fair bit of fun and pretty cute books too (well, one is just sweet; the other a bit saccharine, but has ballerinas). Today I'm getting a couple more--partially for me!
An addendum on Hebrew: I simply cannot hear it very well and I think it's largely age. It's always been a problem, but it's noticeably worse this time than last. I can speak, albeit my memory for vocabulary isn't great. But hearing and processing what I've heard--well, so slow as to be glacial. That's as compared to reading the book, which was, in places, as fast as reading an English book. That's largely because it was a picture book with vowels, but still--the difference is stark.
And then there was the ant attack. The other day, I got some very nice bread. Ate some and put the rest aside for later. Next morning, I make breakfast. I pull out a hunk of bread, get some peanut butter, make my coffee, and sit down to..ants all over the bread. Turns out that not only do I like the bread, but there's a buttery topping that the ants REALLY like. I guess I buy what I can eat and put the rest in the freezer. Sigh.
These ants, by the way, are the tiniest ants I've ever seen. Not more than 1.5-2 millimeters in length (as best as I can make out). There are also huge ones outside--almost a centimeter--but I haven't seen them inside, which is just fine with me.
That's it--on to the day's work.